Monday, June 22, 2009

Summer's Here At Mike Lowrey's

Mike Lowrey - aka "Thin Crust - TX Chuck" - is a man of many skills. This is something he never tires of reminding people of.

This time of year he becomes Dallas's most beloved pool party organizer. Mainly because of the people who attend his numerous events, and the fact that since these people are at his party, they cannot be at any of the other parties being held around town.

For those of you who have never attended a Mike Lowrey party, here's what you're missing:

People get dressed in their party gear weeks in advance of a Mike Lowrey bash.

Some ladies be chilling in lawn chairs.

Some be getting ready to take a dip in the Mike Lowrey love-bath (aka swimming pool).

If the sun's too strong outside, you can go inside to the air conditioned comfort of the "moon room".

Mike Lowrey's stable is just as well stocked as his wet bar.

Mike Lowrey's party pad is equipped the the latest video-conference technology, so even home-bound honnies can enjoy the festivities.

Security is tight. Not everyone is allowed in. This woman was turned away.

But obviously this one wasn't.


plumpdumpling said...

Beth IMed me yesterday and asked me why you hate fat people. I guess this explains it.

I still don't get giant boobs, though. Or bubbies, as they call them on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey", which is maybe my favourite television show ever now.

Alfagirl said...

I did indeed question why you hate fat people. I don't think I am wrong to ask, based on recent posts and pictures.

However, even though you're skinny, I am willing to think that maybe it's just pure fascination of the bizarre and not that you hate fat people. The idea that people will do almost anything for attention, even if it's the grossest thing ever.

Did your parents not take you to the circus when you were younger? Well, apparently it's okay, because living in NY (which has some of the best people watching ever) and having internet access 24/7 pretty much allows you to recreate those lost childhood moments anytime.

I must admit that I do have a fascination with the circus freakshow - every time they had a tent that enticed you to see a 2-headed baby, mermaid girl or crocodile with 3 tails I would always go in. Even if it was fake, and even though it cost $2 (hey, $2 was a lot back then - it was like half my allowance or something). I couldn't help it - even the fake ones you had to give people credit for taking the time to try and make it look as real as possible. The 2-headed dead baby in a jar still creeps me out.

Unknown said...

I don't hate fat people! I don't like them either. I'm ambivalent. But I do like pictures of fat people. And of dead animals.

mrs. jacks said...


Alfagirl said...

Dead animals?!? Really? Like bloody dead, or like taxidermy dead?

Unknown said...

Like this and this.

Alfagirl said...

I'm more of the taxidermy (aka stuffed animals) type myself. But, to each his own. Reading your post about you and Kelley being "birds of a feather" over your love of dead bird photography is as funny as the story of when Hackenberg apparently knew he & his fiancee were destined to be together because at one point during an evening out she had to stop and reorganize her wallet or else it was going to bug her all night. Incidentally, I thought I found the love of my life when I found out he shared my love of toxic flourescent nacho cheese sauce, but sadly it didn't work out.

It seems the only thing that really loses out here is the bird. Poor bird!

Unknown said...

Fortunately, having an obsession with photographing dead animals is not something I share with Kelley. She took that picture because she knew I would like it.

Taxidermy is ok, but I prefer my dead animal to, you know, look dead.

Thin Crust - TX Chuck said...

You do realize that I'm going to have to now show you how strong my pimp hand is...don't you?

About 10 seconds after I hit you; you'll try to duck and move out of the way...

It's just that swift!

About 5 seconds after that; you may pass out from the pain...

It's just that powerful!