Monday, November 24, 2008

CNN, I hate your news ticker

CNN keeps a news ticker running along the bottom of their broadcast. It is very frustrating when you're reading the ticker and then the station goes to a commercial, because during commercials the scroller doesn't run. And often the stories on the ticker are not covered in the regular broadcast.

What? A woman flushed a newborn down the toilet? Tell me more!

Strangely, the weather forecast for Hawaii nevers gets interrupted, but tonight the following headline was: A woman has told a British court she accidentally flushed her newborn down the toilet because...

Wait, you're not going to a commercial, are you?

No! Not a commercial! Come back! Why was the newborn flushed down the toilet??!!

I don't know because CNN went to a commercial! Now I'll never know how a newborn gets flushed down a toilet. Too much toilet paper doesn't go down the drain. It is possible for a person to poop something large enough to plug up the toilet. While there may be a lot of similarities between a newborn and a piece of poop, I never considered size to be one of them.

It turns out that the baby wasn't flushed down the toilet. But what really happened is just as strange.


Thin Crust - TX Chuck said...

Dude the way you eat Sketchy Chinese & Rub...Puh-lease! I've heard you in the bathroom at work drop a 7lb 4oz turd.

I was in the stall next to you scared like a biyatch because of the way you were crying & screaming I thought a small creature was ripping through your stomach cavity like in the movie Aliens.

I've never been that scared in my life.

Unknown said...

You never stepped foot into a stall at work. The only place you are able to poop is in the comfort of the honeybucket in Danny Bo's basement - with Barry Manilow pumping to cover up any embarrassing sounds.

Thin Crust - TX Chuck said...

This is what I saw when we broke into your stall.