Sunday, April 17, 2011

Being Taunted By Internet Ads

When I first saw this ad last year, I couldn't help myself but click on it.
It's an ad for a self-defense video series, featuring:
  • A 2-hit combination GUARANTEED to shatter your attacker's jaw... every single time.
  • Incredible military tricks that will take you from absolute rookie to a master fighter in just a few short hours.
  • How to snatch a loaded gun right out of a "Gangsta's" hand so damn fast it will literally tear his trigger finger off! (And then immediately without even thinking about it cave his chest in without skipping a beat.)
  • Vicious, stomach-churning (but simple) moves that allow you to "lead" him by his chin all the way to the ground... hard. (His body goes where you lead it, like a lifeless slab of meat, letting you control and humiliate even the biggest and toughest street punk on the block with ease.)
  • How to make someone who tries to choke you literally drown in his own spit. (Frankly, you have to see this one to believe it...it's that incredible.)
  • How to inflict unbearable pain to shut off his brain while you end the fight.
OK, I think that last one means you can literally kill someone with pain. Pretty cool!