Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The definition of the word "you" has been changed

Today I received an email from Wells Fargo (the bank) telling me my online agreement has changed. Apparently the definition of the word "you" has been changed. Ah... lawyers.

Wells Fargo provided a summary of the changes that they have made. The first change is the following:

The definitions of the following words and phrases: “You,” “Authorized Representative,” “Eligible Account,” “Service,” and “Website.” We have also added a new definition for “Delegate Tool.” (See Definitions).

In the updated online access agreement I can now see that "you" means the following:

"You" or "your" means, as applicable, each Owner of an Eligible Account, a person applying for an Eligible Account, any Investment Management & Trust (IM&T) account Eligible Beneficiary entitled to online access, or a Delegate.

Now I am wondering what "you" meant yesterday.

Friday, December 23, 2011

In Brooklyn We Call Them Chicken Paws

I have never seen chicken feet referred to as "chicken paws" until today. If the grocery store is looking to elevate the item, this is definitely not a stroke of genius on par with renaming Patagonian toothfish as Chilean sea bass.

Chicken Paws, $1.69 per pound just in time for your holiday feast.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Attempted Mid-flight Overhead Storage Space Theft

Having a bulkhead seat is always great, especially the extra legroom and the ability to come and go from a window seat without disturbing the people sitting next to you.

But it comes at a price. One, you might be near the toilets, which can get pretty disgusting, especially when there are vegans on the plane.

And it also means you have to deal with some pretty limited overhead storage and no under-seat storage. People who get these seats are often frequent fliers, so they know this, and they rush to get on the plane to claim this previous commodity.

On a recent flight I was in just this situation, and I managed to get enough space for my bags. During the flight I got one of my bags and just left it I'm front of me rather than return it to the overhead bin.

About 6 or 7 hours into the flight I noticed another passenger in the same row get up and start going through all of the overhead bins, which I found a little strange. At the same time my laptop battery was running low. I packed my bag up and returned it to the overhead bin.

Thirty seconds later the passenger who was looking through the bins returned with his own rolling bag, which he apparently retrieved from farther back in the cabin. He looked at the formerly empty space with disappointment. He was going to take my space!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Adventure Travel

I noticed this travel agency in Copenhagen.

I'm not sure which destination is less appealing at the moment: Baghdad or Damascus.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Being Taunted By Internet Ads

When I first saw this ad last year, I couldn't help myself but click on it.
It's an ad for a self-defense video series, featuring:
  • A 2-hit combination GUARANTEED to shatter your attacker's jaw... every single time.
  • Incredible military tricks that will take you from absolute rookie to a master fighter in just a few short hours.
  • How to snatch a loaded gun right out of a "Gangsta's" hand so damn fast it will literally tear his trigger finger off! (And then immediately without even thinking about it cave his chest in without skipping a beat.)
  • Vicious, stomach-churning (but simple) moves that allow you to "lead" him by his chin all the way to the ground... hard. (His body goes where you lead it, like a lifeless slab of meat, letting you control and humiliate even the biggest and toughest street punk on the block with ease.)
  • How to make someone who tries to choke you literally drown in his own spit. (Frankly, you have to see this one to believe's that incredible.)
  • How to inflict unbearable pain to shut off his brain while you end the fight.
OK, I think that last one means you can literally kill someone with pain. Pretty cool!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Have You Missed Me?

I haven't been blogging much lately, but that's because I actually died 2 years ago.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Did I Unfriend You?

In case you're wondering, the answer is no. I didn't unfriend you. I closed my Facebook account the other week.My decision was made primarily based on privacy concerns.

The thing with Facebook is that even if I choose not to disclose certain information, other people on Facebook - or Facebook itself - may disclose that information. That's not to say the same thing can't happen without Facebook, but Facebook makes it entirely too easy.