Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Potty Mouth

Recently I was accused of having a lot of pent up aggression of using this blog to release it. I believe that this person imagines me to be a secretly angry person, but in reality I am not.

Usually. But at around 5:30 pm, something happens at my office that does make me angry: the cleaning people decide to clean the men's restroom.

There are 14 hours in the day when this can be done when hardly anyone would notice.

Is there a less convenient time for a bathroom to be cleaned than at the end of the workday? The morning might be, since that is when some people choose to deliver their "morning shit". But that is debatable.

At 5:30 pm in New York, a large number of people are about to be stuck on some form of public transportation for an hour or longer. This is their last chance to use the facilities for a while. Apparently this is also the best time for the building's cleaning crew to clean the restrooms.

That's the end of my rant. Now it's time to sit back and wait for my blog-stalker thincrust to leave some sort of ridiculous comment to vindicate him from the punishment I recently dealt him.


Thin Crust - TX Chuck said...

Being that Kelley has recently outed you as a bottom I'll try not to put the smackdown on you today.


I worked there for over 3 years and I know to use the bathroom at 5 (the end of the working day for people with a decent job). Although I know you would like to scold the hard working little Russian immigrant lady who cleans restrooms there...please have some restraint.

She probably makes $9 hr and there are how many damn bathrooms in that building?? Maybe a hundred.

Imagine the nerve of that woman wanting to go home at a decent time. She has no right to interrupt your "should have gone to the bathroom at 5pm non-time tracking ass"!

Unknown said...

Now you're questioning my solidarity with the poor and exploited? I myself am poor and exploited.

You're starting to act like Michael Jackson at the beginning of the Bad video. You leave the hood to go get some fancy job at a university and you forget what life is like in the streets. And then you come back around the way screaming, "You ain't bad! You ain't nothing! You ain't nothing!"

plumpdumpling said...

You are not secretly angry. You are outright angry, and that is why I love you.

And I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but the cleaning man comes at 5:30 because he has a crush on me. I don't want to embarrass him by saying it, but he knows if he doesn't come early enough, I won't be there to wave to him. He expects and enjoys this wave so much that if I don't notice him and wave immediately, he'll hover outside of the door until I look up. Sometimes I see this with my excellent peripheral vision and specifically don't look up just to torture him, although I then usually feel guilty about it and pretend I have to go to the bathroom just to go out into the hallway and say hello to him.

So the answer to your problem is obviously to make me less lovable.

Unknown said...

For as many positive interpretations of "he wants to see my smiling face before he cleans the toilets" you can come up with, I can come up with more negative ones.

Kelley said...

The answer is simple.
Use the women's restroom.
But, as with all communal bathrooms, don't let your butt touch the seat.