Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sign Language, Part 2

While walking around lately I've noticed a couple of good signs. The first is from a doctor's office near Kelley's work. I know that making a joke about Dr. Charles C. Kwak's name and profession is about as creative as posing with the bull statue near Wall Street, but it's still funny.

Dr. Kwak, board-certified dermatologist.

Kelley gets credit for noticing this one. On Saturday we went to Thanh Da (in Sunset Park) for dinner. Next door is an Internet cafe. The business is probably named "Hot Game Network Inc.". Oops.

Hot Game Nework Inc.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Did You Hear The One About The Gay Polish Elephant?

A politician in Poznan, Poland, has outed a young male elephant at the local zoo as being gay. Michal Grzes provided the following evidence: Ninio, the 14-year old elephant, prefers the company of male elephants and is aggressive toward females.

Gay elephants are known to use public restrooms for lascivious purposes.

According to one of Ninio's keepers, an elephant's sexual orientation is still undetermined at age 14. The keeper also suggests that there are such things as gay and bisexual elephants.

You can listen to the story on Inside Europe from Deutsch-Welle radio.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Hour of Power

Even non-travelers have heard about the various of budget cuts that have decimated airline amenities. First it was charging for meals. Then they started charging extra for coach seats closer to the front of the plane. Next came charging to check luggage. Some airlines tried to charge for water and soda, but that didn't last. British airline Ryanair recently suggested it will start charging to use the toilet.

An hour of power for $2.

This week I took a business trip to Kansas City for the week. At the airport there I saw a heretofore unknown money-generating device: pay-to-activate power outlets. My initial annoyance gave way to acceptance. After all, many airports don't have any outlets for travelers to use while they wait to board. At least you have an option in Kansas City

Or do you? So even if you were willing to pay for power, you couldn't because the machine was broken.

I abhor fart jokes, but seriously...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Potty Mouth

Recently I was accused of having a lot of pent up aggression of using this blog to release it. I believe that this person imagines me to be a secretly angry person, but in reality I am not.

Usually. But at around 5:30 pm, something happens at my office that does make me angry: the cleaning people decide to clean the men's restroom.

There are 14 hours in the day when this can be done when hardly anyone would notice.

Is there a less convenient time for a bathroom to be cleaned than at the end of the workday? The morning might be, since that is when some people choose to deliver their "morning shit". But that is debatable.

At 5:30 pm in New York, a large number of people are about to be stuck on some form of public transportation for an hour or longer. This is their last chance to use the facilities for a while. Apparently this is also the best time for the building's cleaning crew to clean the restrooms.

That's the end of my rant. Now it's time to sit back and wait for my blog-stalker thincrust to leave some sort of ridiculous comment to vindicate him from the punishment I recently dealt him.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sign Language

An easy source of entertainment in New York are signs. From the inexplicably misspelled to the overly detailed to the unnecessarily repetitive, there's always something curious to be seen for those who look up.

Today's examples are signs from chicken restaurants. If you were opening a restaurant in Brooklyn and were planning to offer chicken, clams, shrimps, fish, hamburgers and much more, would you name it "Only Chicken"? Someone in Brooklyn decided to do so. Kelley passes this place on her way to and from work.

Solo Pollo is located on Court Street at Hamilton Avenue in Brooklyn.

My second chicken restaurant is located in Hells Kitchen, a few blocks from where Kelley works. Pluck U. is one of the more creatively named places to get chicken wings.

Pluck U. is located on Tenth Avenue, between 47th & 48th Streets in Manhattan.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Grimace

A while ago I stumbled upon this picture, which makes me laugh every time I look at it.

If you don't get it, I'm not going to explain it to you.

But it got me thinking about how I always liked Grimace, the McDonaldland character. I mean, he was a buffoon and an oaf, but there was something cute about him.



What I didn't realize, however, is that goofy old Grimace started off as Evil Grimace. You can see for yourself in this old McDonald's commercial.



Ah, the good old days. When an unsupervised clown could have custody of two children, lead them on a mission of vigilante justice to liberate some cups from an anthropomorphic turd, and then fill the cups - which were just handled by a walking and talking piece of shit - with soda and milkshakes.