Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Dumpy The Ghetto Snowman

The other day a snowstorm dumped over a foot of snow in New York. This gave people in the city a new, temporary outlet for their creativity.

Dumpy the Ghetto Snowman

One of our neighbors made Dumpy the ghetto snowman. His face was made of broken pieces of plastic gathered from the street. He wore a cap made of a dirty bowl and a scarf made of a discarded towel. He carried a broom, which is a somewhat ironic accessory because, had the broom actually been used in the neighborhood, Dumpy would have been faceless and naked.

As is the fate of all snowmen, Dumpy diminishes daily. Soon he will revert to the same pile of trash from which he was fashioned. And before long, the litter that once adorned Dumpy's cheerless face will find some new way of entertaining the children of Brooklyn. Probably as the raw materials for sharpened weapons that can be used to rob other children of their Christmas gifts.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Making Air Travel Better

Soul Plane notwithstanding, air travel just isn't fun. I don't expect it to be, nor do I need it to be.

When you think about it, air travel is pretty amazing. For the overwhelming majority of human existence, getting from point A to point B was a long and often dangerous endeavor. Today, we can travel 2,500 miles in 5 hours (and back again) for less than the price of a Rammstein album. Air travel is relatively safe, cheap and fast.

Air travel doesn't need to be a joy, but it doesn't need to be a misery either. (Unlike Rammstein, which is and always will be a miserable experience.) I imagine a lot of people spend their time at the airport the way I do: wondering why things are done the way they are and wishing they weren't. Here are the changes I would make if I had the power:

TRAVEL WISH #1: Airlines would have a family section.

The only people who should be subjected to kicking and screaming children on an airplane are the parents who bring them. The airlines know who is flying on their planes. The airlines control who sits where.

The last few rows of a plane would be filled with families. They would be able to board the plane first without slowing down the boarding process. It would be possible to provide people not traveling with kids - such as lucrative business travelers - enough distance from children so as to minimize the volume of their cries.

Along the same lines, anyone who need to board the plane early (old people, handicapped people) should also be seated together in order to expedite boarding and disembarking.

TRAVEL WISH #2: Airlines would have to take responsibilities for the consequences of their pricing policies.

Now that airlines are charging customers to check luggage, more people are bringing their luggage on the plane. The bags are still getting checked, but now people are taking their bags through security, to the gate, onto the plane, and then off of the plane when it turns out there isn't enough overhead storage for their bags.

Of all the problems this new charge has caused, I think the most serious one is how much longer it takes to get through the security line. The airlines have been allowed to increase the amount of traffic in the terminal without having to make any accomodations for it. I have two possible solutions:

  1. Add more security lines. If an airline is charging to check bags, they should be responsible for paying for the additional staff to screen bags people carry on the plane. There is no reason for it to take an hour for anyone to get through security, especially when half of the available security lines aren't even open.
  2. Add separate security lines for people who are not bringing luggage. If all you are flying with is your "one personal item", you shouldn't have to wait in the same line with people who are bringing the bags they should have checked. I would think this option would appeal to the airlines since it might encourage more people to check their bags.

TRAVEL WISH #3: All luggage would be checked.

This wish is probably not going to be a popular one, especially when one considers the airlines' track record regarding lost luggage. But it seems like air travel would be safer and more efficient if people were only bringing small bags with a few personal items onboard. The lines through security would move faster. The boarding and disembarking processes would speed up.

And I think that if everyone had to check their bags, and the airlines were losing everybody's bags, the airlines would have to figure out a better way of tracking bags.

TRAVEL WISH #4: Power outlets would be available onboard.

There are very few things I'm willing to pay for on a plane. It is never a surprise to me that my flight is going to be on a long one where I might get hungry or bored. After all, before I board the plane I know where I'm going and approximately how long it will take to get there. I can bring my own food and entertainment.

But what I can't do is bring an extra laptop or ipod. I'd be very happy to pay for electricity during my flight. Ok, that's an exaggeration. I wouldn't be very happy, or even slightly happy, in fact. But I would be willing to pay for it.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Facebook Status

A lot of status updates in Facebook are pretty uninteresting. Yes, I'm talking about you TGIF!!! A status like Friday!!! is not even uninteresting. At least with TGIF!!! a person is expressing his thankfulness that it's Friday. Friday!!! is just announcing a fact that most people are already aware of.

However, every now and then something interesting is posted. I should have posted this back when it happened, but better late than never.

Cute exchange

What really made this status hilarious is that the person who set it wasn't even in New York City. She had recently moved to New York. She thought she was living in New York City. She was telling everyone she was living in New York City. She wasn't. She was living in Long Island, which, to someone actually living in New York City, is "the country".

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Dead Bird Still Dead

More than a year ago a bird got itself stuck under the elevated subway track near my apartment. Not being able to free itself, it eventually died. Then its body slowly decomposed, the progress of which I watched twice daily for a couple of months.

Then the MTA closed the staircase that led right up to the dead body for about 6 months as they rebuilt the stairs. They didn't bother to remove the body. And to this day the dead body is still there.

This is a sight that begins and ends my days.

While the quantity of shows on forensic science that Kelley makes me watch may make me feel like I have an expert understanding of how bodies decompose, I clearly don't as I am amazed that this bird appears to be more-or-less in tact after all this time.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

At Least They Can Spell Ear

This store along W 14th Street is advertising free ear piercing with the purchase of earrings. Not only did they misspell "piercing", but they also misspelled "earrings".

I hope they take more care with the piercing then they do with their signs.

At least this is a hand-written sign. I really don't understand how professional sign-makers in New York misspell words on signs as often as they do. In my mind the gold standard of this type of negligence is how the MTA misspelled "downtown" on a subway sign.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Would You Rather...

A few years ago I attended my company's Christmas party and left with a white elephant gift named Would You Rather?. This is a game where players are asked "to choose between two uncomfortable choices". One example is "would you rather die drowning or suffocating". Another (more creative) example involved using a wood rasp to sand down the hump of a camel.

Camels have large humps.

If you're the kind of person who likes asking these questions, this game is a terrific idea. If you're not, it's not, and most people aren't. Consequently, the first party I took the game to was also the last.

But I like asking questions like these. Well, I liked asking them. I always believed this to be the result of a healthy and natural curiosity. Initially Kelley indulged me. It wasn't long before she started to cut me off as I was explaining the options with a playful - but insistent - "I don't answer hypotheticals!". As her tone progressed to annoyance and then to hostility, I realized my curiosity was neither healthy nor natural. In the interest of domestic tranquility, I made a change. I've stopped asking these questions, but I'm constantly thinking of them.

The Interrogative Mood

So it was with great enthusiasm that I learned about The Interrogative Mood: A Novel?, Padgett Powell's new book. Immediately I showed Kelley a book review. Her response was "It's you!" And then she reserved the book for me from the Brooklyn Public Library.

Powell will be reading at 192 Books on Wednesday, October 21.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Say What?

These days we have way too many passwords for various systems and websites we use. Some systems have password rules that are so complex that it is difficult to come up with - let alone remember - a password.

Today I found Random Password Generator. This site allows you to enter various rules (number of characters, if numbers should be included, etc) and it generates a password for you.

What's your pleasure?

It also includes a phonetic guide to help you say the password. For example, xEFr&e is pronounced "x-ray - ECHO - FOXTROT - romeo - Ampersand - echo". How is ECHO pronounced differently from echo?

And don't say "it's louder".

Monday, October 5, 2009

This Commercial Makes Me Sad

Every time I see these advertisements for Swiffer mops I get a little choked up. Seriously. I feel really bad for the poor, discarded mop.

And this one is even more heart-breaking.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Drug Abuse + Incest > Work

It doesn't matter how busy I might be, if I take a short break from work to check Google News and I see a headline like Mackenzie Phillips details drug use and incest in new memoir, I click the link. It also doesn't matter the news source. Usually my brain doesn't even register links from Entertainment Weekly (sort of like how a dog can't see the color red).

Google News selected this story specifically for me.

But that was just a teaser. As I scrolled down just a bit, I saw an even more scandalous headline from MTV: Mackenzie Phillips Claims Father Raped, Drugged Her.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Stop Wearing Cologne

I describe the experience as "having my nose holes raped". It is the penetration of a bodily orifice without consent. Yes, I find cologne and perfume that offensive. Apparently I am in the small minority of people who feel this way, because any time I mention my aversion to someone, I am rebuked.

I am not allergic to perfume. I just don't like it. At all. I don't think that smelling like flowers or fruits or an animal is a good thing. If it's something you can't help, that's one thing. But to purposefully put a scent on yourself and - more importantly - to force others to smell it? That is inconsiderate and down-right rude.

But, as I already mentioned, most people disagree with me. I've never had anything more than logic, manners and personal preference to back me up. Well, I didn't, until today.

I was finishing Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, by Mary Roach. Chapter 14 covers the topic of hormones, pheromones and scents. The following is an excerpt from page 292:

I have a better suggestion for Cutler's* customers. Stop wearing cologne. Women don't find it attractive. If you don't believe me, here is a quote from a press release from the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago: "Men's colognes actually reduced vaginal blood flow." Foundation director Al Hirsch hooked women up to a vaginal photoplethysmograph and had them wear surgical masks scented with ten different aromas or combination of aromas.
* Cutler is Winnifred Cuttler, whose name you might recognize from magazine advertisements for Athena Pheromone 10X.

There you are. Science has shown that women are not stimulated by your cologne. So now you can stop wearing it.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Piano Woman

Have you ever seen a woman dressed in leather from head to toe playing a piano on wheels on a crowded city sidewalk? Well I have.

Piano woman on Whitehall.

This woman was situated in front of my office this morning. I don't know what she was doing or how she got there*.

* I do have a guess, though. I think she stole the piano from Mike Lowrey's backyard and was trying to get it home. But that explanation begs another question: What was a woman like that doing at his house in the first place? Once word gets out we probably won't be seeing any updates on his blog for a looooong time.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Why I Don't Like Popcorn

On December 1, 2004, Kelley made herself some popcorn. She found this piece of popcorn in her bowl. Just like the grilled cheese sandwich that bears the likeness the Virgin Mary and the dog whose anus resembles Jesus, the penis-shaped popcorn had to be preserved. Kelley got a little plastic container to store it for posterity.

Popcorn 2004

On Friday posterity arrived. Kelley was doing some cleaning and found the popcorn. Here is a picture of the popcorn today. It is perfectly preserved. This is why I don't like popcorn. It has nothing to do with its phallic shape. Anything cooked that can sit in our closet for almost 5 years and show no visible signs of aging is something I want no part of.

Popcorn 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009

Things That Missouri Probably Doesn't Need

Someone came up with the idea for a Coast Guard recruiting station in Kansas City, Missouri. Someone approved the idea. Someone made the idea a reality. And today, thanks to these unnamed public servants, in a strip mall near the Kansas City International Airport, there is a Coast Guard recruiting center.

Coast Guard recruiting office in Kansas City

The most logical part of the whole thing is that the recruiting center is located near an airport, considering the city's proximity to large bodies of water:
  • Lake Michigan: 430 miles
  • Gulf of Mexico: 650 miles
  • Atlantic Ocean: 930 miles
  • Pacific Ocean: 1,130 miles

Sunday, August 2, 2009

White Castle... Yum!

White Castle is a fast food chain that people love or hate. The tiny burgers are steamed, and this method of cooking is not the best for bringing out the flavor of meat. The patty is a sliver of beef that creates a glue-like bond between it and the bun. The bun becomes damp and mushy in the places where it comes into direct contact with the meat. My mouth is watering as I write this...

White Castle's brilliant pulled pork sandwich ad.

One of my all-time favorite TV commercials is for White Castle's pulled pork sandwich. It's a little creepy, and a little inappropriate, but I think it's hilarious. I assume that was intentional, unlike my next example of White Castle-themed entertainment.

Last year a law went into effect in New York City that requires restaurants with more than 15 outlets to post calorie information for the items they sell. Chain restaurants fought the law - and lost. So now New Yorkers can clearly see the number of calories they are about to consume. The law even applies to items that are so clearly unhealthy - like Wendy's Baconator - that putting a calorie count next to them appears to be done solely for the amusement of people who would never consider eating them.

White Castle calorie chart.

Calorie-wise, White Castle's food is not any worse than any other chain restaurant's. But White Castle almost certainly has a lock on having the highest calorie item available in a chain restaurant in New York City.

I'm not talking about Sack Meal #4, featuring 20 burgers, though I'd bet that few restaurants have anything that would be a worthy challenger to Sack Meal #4's 4080 calories. Sack Meal #4 does deserve special recognition for being a pre-configured meal option that includes 20 burgers. Most chains don't even offer a multi-sandwich combination.

Nor am I talking about the gallon-size drink that is available. That is listed at 100 calories, which has to be a mistake. I'm going to assume that a gallon of soda has 1000 calories. That's a lot of calories in a drink, but there are numerous items on White Castle's menu that exceed 1000 calories. However, just like Sack Meal #4, this menu item deserves recognition for being significantly larger than similar items offered by White Castle's competition.

I'm talking about the 14,230 calorie Crave Crate. Sure, unlike Sack Meal #4, it's not an item that a single person could possibly eat. But it is a single menu item, and as such, its calories must be listed.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

To Eat Or Not To Eat

Commercials featuring anthropomorphic food products come in two varieties: those that discourage you from eating the food product and those that encourage you to eat the food product.


The former makes sense. Chick-Fil-A has cows trying to convince people to eat more chicken because that will result in fewer people eating beef. It's a simple example of rational self interest.

Frosted Mini Wheats

Then there are commercials like those for Frosted Mini Wheats, where animated pieces of breakfast cereal encourage people to eat them. In Kellogg's Land, cereal is sentient and is happy to be a martyr. Every bite is a suicide, followed by the desecration and digestion of the corpse.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Which Station Am I Watching?

Quiz of the day: which station am I watching?

D. All of the above
E. None of the above

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Fatal Hit & Run

Mispelled subway signs. Dead birds stuck in subway overpasses. Strawberry cake with the leaves intact. A lot of people in New York just don't give a shit. Those examples were amusing. This one is just sad.

The NYPD is looking for the driver.

On Wednesday night a man was killed in a hit-and-run in front of my building. The road was closed for a while as the police investigated and the accident was cleaned up.

Accident scene clean ups only include the removal of one shoe.

I should write "cleaned up". One of the dead man's shoes remains in the street today.

Monday, July 13, 2009

School Bus Smoking Section

Kelley had jury duty this morning, so we had the very unusual opportunity to walk to the subway together. As we were walking, we heard this booming stereo and smoke billowing from a parked vehicle.

If the school bus is a rockin', don't bother knockin'!

I can honestly say I've never seen that combination coming from a school bus before. I had to take a picture. Kelley asked if I wanted her to stand next to the bus in order to be a little less conspicuous. I said no thanks, I'll just take the picture. After all, the dude is sitting in a school bus. What's he going to do, yell and start following us?

That's exactly what he did. He was pissed. "Hey!!! What the hell are you doing??!!" We kept walking. After we had gone around a corner, I looked back to see him standing there, staring me down.

In case you are wondering, the music was "Umbrella" by Rihanna. The smoke was tobacco.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

How Old Is A Woman Who Is Over 35?

The subway is full of ads for a reality/game show titled "She's Got The Look", which describes itself as a "model competition for women over 35". The ads features contestants on the show, along with their ages.

Raquel, age 35, is a contestant on She's Got The Look.

If you're 36, you're over 35. If you're 35, you're not.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Strawberry Cake, Hold The Leaves

One of the constant contradictions of New York is that it is simultaneously home to the most ambitious and the most lazy people.

On the one hand you've got the "if you can make it here you can make it anywhere" crowd. No matter how clever or eager you are, there is someone more clever and more eager than you. If you will push by 10 people to squeeze into a rush hour subway seat, the old woman next to you will push by 20 people to get there first - and then she will yell at you for being rude.

On the other hand you've got the "if you can make it here you can do it yourself" crowd. My amazement never ceases at the lack of basic customer service shops provide. A couple months ago I went to a pet store to exchange a bag of cat food. The man at the register didn't say a word to me as I stood at the counter. I finally asked if he worked there. In an annoyed voice he answered, "I'm standing behind the counter, aren't I?"

Strawberry Cake from Financier Patisserie

Ok, maybe I'm confusing someone being an asshole with being lazy, so let me provide another example. If you buy a cake with fresh strawberries in New York, you always need to check the strawberries before you eat them. The person who prepared the cake probably didn't bother removing the leaves before adding the berries to the cake.

Like yesterday's cake from Financier Patisserie on Stone Street.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Cold Activated Can

Coors Light's latest gimmick to get people to buy it is a "cold activated" can. Are Coors drinkers so dumb that they cannot figure out when a can of beer is cold enough to drink, or has Coors become such a technologically advanced drink that only it knows when it it sufficiently chilled?

What is getting activated by the cold?

In either case, I'm staying away.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Summer's Here At Mike Lowrey's

Mike Lowrey - aka "Thin Crust - TX Chuck" - is a man of many skills. This is something he never tires of reminding people of.

This time of year he becomes Dallas's most beloved pool party organizer. Mainly because of the people who attend his numerous events, and the fact that since these people are at his party, they cannot be at any of the other parties being held around town.

For those of you who have never attended a Mike Lowrey party, here's what you're missing:

People get dressed in their party gear weeks in advance of a Mike Lowrey bash.

Some ladies be chilling in lawn chairs.

Some be getting ready to take a dip in the Mike Lowrey love-bath (aka swimming pool).

If the sun's too strong outside, you can go inside to the air conditioned comfort of the "moon room".

Mike Lowrey's stable is just as well stocked as his wet bar.

Mike Lowrey's party pad is equipped the the latest video-conference technology, so even home-bound honnies can enjoy the festivities.

Security is tight. Not everyone is allowed in. This woman was turned away.

But obviously this one wasn't.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Holy Hairball!

Yesterday I took Taffeta to the veterinarian for a check-up. Since last year she hasn't been grooming herself like she used to. As a result, her fur gets a bit matted. I try to brush it out, but she doesn't hold still long enough for me to make a difference.

Dr. Caruso brushes out Taffeta's matted fur.

Last year I brushed out what I thought was the most fur a person could possibly brush out of Taffeta at one time. Well, Dr. Caruso brushed out a pile of hair almost the size of Taffeta herself. Now Taffeta's coat is clean and soft again. Since the mats are gone, she doesn't mind getting brushed.

This is the largest pile of cat hair I've ever seen.

By the way, if you're looking for a vet in Brooklyn, Pet Haven Hospital is terrific. The doctors and staff are always gentle and friendly. The office is open 7 days a week and I've never had a problem getting in quickly.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Insectum Ex Machina

Until recently I had a bank account with Washington Mutual. After Chase bought Washington Mutual my account was transferred. This morning was the first day I went to a Chase ATM to try to withdraw money. I was surprised to see that a moth was trapped inside one of the machines at 55 Water Street.

You might be a winner, but this moth is a loser.

I hope that the moth's imprisonment is due, somehow, to its own carelessness. But what is much more likely is that someone was recently working on the ATM, had the machine open and left the moth inside it accidentally.

But the first thing you notice when you approach the ATM is that there is a moth inside it. The repairman probably couldn't be bothered with opening the machine back up to remove the insect. Ah, New York...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Less Than Or Equal To Or Greater Than

I get the distinct feeling that, sometimes, marketing is just about filling space with words. I don't know how else to explain a subway advertisement promising that "right now, you can save up to $1,000 or more a year".

It may not make sense, but, logically, it is always true.

Doesn't the "or more" obviate the "up to"? I guess to a marketing copywriter, 2 gimmicky claims are better than 1, even if they contradict each another.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

An Anatomical Oddity

It has been a long time since I last visited Pathmark of Gowanus, and I'm glad about that. As Kelley and I waited in the checkout line, a large woman was in front of us, struggling mightily with the self-checkout machine.

Fat ankles.

This picture doesn't do this woman's ankles justice. She has managed to cultivate a roll of fat around each ankle. I've never seen anything like it before. She may be suffering from some sort of medical condition, so the cart full of junk food she was packing up might be completely unrelated.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Agony of Defeat

The Sports Museum of America opened last May. In February it closed its doors. In April the fallout was explained in the Wall Street Journal.

Sports Museum of America: May 2008 - February 2009

There are many much more interesting things to do in New York than look at sports artifacts, so this really is no loss to the city. Though it is a shame that the window display featuring a very realistic statue of fat man sitting on a bar stool with his butt crack exposed was displaced by this museum. That display endured for years, while this sorry sports museum lasted 9 months.

(Short) Attention to Detail

While this is miles away on the scale-of-unbelievability from the MTA misspelling "downtown", it is pretty incredible. They spelled "Rice Krispy" correctly in ingredients. At least they got it right once, right?

Chocolate Rice Chripsy Bar.

Monday, May 18, 2009


The recent California and Texas earthquakes reminded me of my first earthquake experience. My mom was visiting me in Portland, Oregon in 2001. One day she asked me if Portland ever has earthquakes. Rather than explain that, yes, there are earthquakes but it's nothing like California, I said no.

Well, the next day - literally - there was an earthquake. Nothing major, but it was enough to cause me to lose all geologic credibility with my mom.

And with that little anecdote, I offer more tectonic humor, this time, in the form of a woman's account of the recent California earthquake.


Saturday, May 16, 2009

Humble New York

New York is not known for its humility, so I was surprised by this sign above a shop on an eternally scaffolded block of Rector Street.

Of all the claims New York business are willing to make...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Google Doodle Spells Disappointment for Thousands of Children

Google is having another of their "doodle" contests. Children draw the Google logo and one winning kid gets to see his drawing grace the Google homepage.

If there's one winner, that means more than 28,000 losers.

You can browse the submissions here, which really means that you can click among more than 28,000 losing submissions. As you do so, think of the children!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sign Language, Part 2

While walking around lately I've noticed a couple of good signs. The first is from a doctor's office near Kelley's work. I know that making a joke about Dr. Charles C. Kwak's name and profession is about as creative as posing with the bull statue near Wall Street, but it's still funny.

Dr. Kwak, board-certified dermatologist.

Kelley gets credit for noticing this one. On Saturday we went to Thanh Da (in Sunset Park) for dinner. Next door is an Internet cafe. The business is probably named "Hot Game Network Inc.". Oops.

Hot Game Nework Inc.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Did You Hear The One About The Gay Polish Elephant?

A politician in Poznan, Poland, has outed a young male elephant at the local zoo as being gay. Michal Grzes provided the following evidence: Ninio, the 14-year old elephant, prefers the company of male elephants and is aggressive toward females.

Gay elephants are known to use public restrooms for lascivious purposes.

According to one of Ninio's keepers, an elephant's sexual orientation is still undetermined at age 14. The keeper also suggests that there are such things as gay and bisexual elephants.

You can listen to the story on Inside Europe from Deutsch-Welle radio.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Hour of Power

Even non-travelers have heard about the various of budget cuts that have decimated airline amenities. First it was charging for meals. Then they started charging extra for coach seats closer to the front of the plane. Next came charging to check luggage. Some airlines tried to charge for water and soda, but that didn't last. British airline Ryanair recently suggested it will start charging to use the toilet.

An hour of power for $2.

This week I took a business trip to Kansas City for the week. At the airport there I saw a heretofore unknown money-generating device: pay-to-activate power outlets. My initial annoyance gave way to acceptance. After all, many airports don't have any outlets for travelers to use while they wait to board. At least you have an option in Kansas City

Or do you? So even if you were willing to pay for power, you couldn't because the machine was broken.

I abhor fart jokes, but seriously...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Potty Mouth

Recently I was accused of having a lot of pent up aggression of using this blog to release it. I believe that this person imagines me to be a secretly angry person, but in reality I am not.

Usually. But at around 5:30 pm, something happens at my office that does make me angry: the cleaning people decide to clean the men's restroom.

There are 14 hours in the day when this can be done when hardly anyone would notice.

Is there a less convenient time for a bathroom to be cleaned than at the end of the workday? The morning might be, since that is when some people choose to deliver their "morning shit". But that is debatable.

At 5:30 pm in New York, a large number of people are about to be stuck on some form of public transportation for an hour or longer. This is their last chance to use the facilities for a while. Apparently this is also the best time for the building's cleaning crew to clean the restrooms.

That's the end of my rant. Now it's time to sit back and wait for my blog-stalker thincrust to leave some sort of ridiculous comment to vindicate him from the punishment I recently dealt him.