Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Chivalry is alive and well in New York, and it is imported from Staten Island

Kelley, her niece Fay and I were going out for lunch today. I met them at the Whitehall subway station at a time that just happened to coincide with one of the large crowds of people who regularly shuffle past the station.

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In case you are unfamiliar with subway stops in lower Manhattan, this station is located on Whitehall Street, which is the main street that people walk along in order to get from the Staten Island ferry to most of the subway lines that stop downtown. Twice an hour, large crowds of people empty from the ferry terminal onto Whitehall Street.

Unlike a lot of crowds in New York, these crowds are made up of predominantly New Yorkers, meaning they are rude and obnoxious. You get these groups of teenagers who walk 5 abreast, block the entire sidewalk, and get big attitudes if you do anything but scramble to get out of their way.

"Get out of my way," said a woman as she pushed me.
"Don't push me," I yelled out at her as she walked away.
"Then get out of my way," she said.
"Don't push me," I repeated, determined not to let her be the big mouth to get in the last word.

At this point, a group of 3 greasy haired guys approached me and started to defend this girl's honor:

"Yo man, everything ok? Everything ok?"
"She's a woman, dog. Don't talk like that to a woman."
"You got a problem?"

Nothing came of their challenges. They were just trying to look tough to one another. I was mainly being a big mouth for Fay's benefit. She's been stranded in New York for several days due to flight cancellations, and she's been housebound in Brooklyn for all of that time. I wanted her first trip back into the city to be memorable.


Thin Crust - TX Chuck said...

Damn Adam, you almost got a 64oz can of whooop-ass put on you. Dude you so fight like my 8yr old daughter. You needed to run back upstairs and get the muscle milk twins Nick & Tim.

Then it would have been a fair fight. Those two could take 3 or 4 guys while you could have hid behind the sausage truck or even better across the street in Chipotle.

Unknown said...

Good for you... If it were snowing you could have used the ol' decoy maneuver... Toss one snowball high up in the air above them... while they are watching it in awwww if your mighty throw... you then proceed to throw a second snowball... this one directed straight at the targets in question.

Works like a charm when out numbered...

Unknown said...

I wasn't outnumbered. Kelley and Fay would have taken those clowns down for me. They were waiting for me to give the sign, which is a dramatic finger-snap, in case you were wondering.

Anonymous said...

Adam, Are you out of your mind or do you have a death wish? You are grounded until further notice !

Unknown said...

Kelley was there to protect me.

Thin Crust - TX Chuck said...

See Adam,

Even your mom (who I will now affectionately call "Mama Conn") knows that your a wuss.

I think you should listen to her. Take it from the person whose had to cheer you up after being chased home from school every day. And that was just while you were in college!

Anonymous said...

I have to know: have you ever engaged in fisticuffs? Because while I can see you instigating fights, I can also see you taunting anyone who might try to fight you to the point that they would become disinterested.