Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Compromise

Recipe for compromise:

  1. Take one unadorned crystal rose.
  2. Top with a tiny sombrero from Mexico City.
  3. Dress with the shirt off the back of a creepy homemade doll.
  4. Add some cockroaches to make it feel like home.

It's like a hairy caterpillar becoming a beautiful butterfly. Or maybe it's more like a maggot becoming a house fly. Regardless, it's an improvement.

The flaw with this recipe is that it leaves you with a leftover naked creepy doll. It's up to you to decide if this is any better than a crystal rose.

Just what every little girl hope Santa will deliver.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Hotel Adventures in Denver

I'm in Denver for a couple of days. This is my first hotel stay after watching the My FOX Atlanta investigative report titled Dirty Hotel Secrets. Normally I disregard these types of "the world is so scary and dirty" stories.

But this story revealed a source of filth that I hadn't previously considered. I actually believed glasses in a hotel room to be a sign of higher quality and greater cleanliness. I was always a little disappointed to check into a hotel and discover disposable plastic cups in the bathroom.

To my dismay my room had a platter of glasses on the bottom shelf of the nightstand, 4 inches from the ground. Oh the germs!

Since Kelley and I are redecorating I am more aware than usual of how furniture is positioned in a room. So the first thing that caught my eye as I entered my hotel room was the placement of the couch in my room.

The room has neither the space nor the use for a couch and a chair.

The couch was both being blocked and blocking. The chair was blocking the couch, and the couch was blocking the window. Closing the blinds required climbing on the couch. Hopefully the hotel staff is just using the room as a storage area and not under the impression that this is a practical furniture configuration.

Later in the night I found the following note slid under my door.

Is this the kind of gift that requires a thank-you note?

I have no idea what gift Anne is referring to. I looked in the hall to see if something was waiting out there for me, but there wasn't. So I guess you're looking at my thank-you gift.