It's About That Time Again...

Last weekend's hassle was 20 inches of snow. This weekend's honor belongs to our local street fair. This poor guy didn't get the memo. Talk about adding insult to injury!

Here's a Tip

I'm not sure where this guy is finding $4 bottles of beer in New York, but he has written a good article expressing the frustration some people feel over being expected to tip everyone and everything in New York: Hey, Waiter! Just How Much Extra Do You Really Expect?

Denmark + Me + Hookers = Today

I'm in Copenhagen for the week, staying at a hotel that I was warned is in the red-light district. There is a strip club across the street, but it has thus far showed no signs of life.

On my walk back to my hotel this evening I passed a small person all bundled up like an Eskimo. I could tell that someone was coming towards me, but I didn't look up. The sidewalk was a sheet of ice and I was trying not to slip.

Just as the person was about to pass me I hear a woman's voice say hello in the unnaturally friendly tone of someone about to ask for something. I assumed she was about to ask me for directions.

Hooker walking towards me, though I didn't know it yet.

As I looked up at her I saw, inside a warm fur lined hood, a dark skinned face decorated with unnaturally bright red lipstick. I knew she didn't want directions, but I also knew I still wasn't going to be able to help her. I'm not sure exactly what she asked me. It sounded like "looking for fun?" or "you want a friend?" or possibly - hopefully - something much more explicit in Danish.

There are many unfortunate situations I imagine a prostitute can find herself in. Walking the streets in the dead of winter seems distinctly sad.

YOU'RE A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG :-)

In the fall Kelley took a Spanish class that required an incredibly overpriced workbook. Instead of buying the book at the college bookstore, we bought it on Amazon.

Since Kelley needed the workbook quickly so she could do her assignments, I decided to order from someone local. I found a seller who advertised that the book would be shipped "next day" and that he was located in New Jersey.

Neither claim was true. The book could not have been shipped the next day (though it did arrive inside of the dates promised by Amazon). It was shipped from California. That's fine. The problem is that the workbook had a bunch of pages ripped out. Not just any pages, either. Gone were those pages containing the assignments a student would submit. The "work" pages from the workbook were missing.

On December 14 I wrote the seller to explain that the book he sent me was worthless to me:

The book I ordered from you is a workbook used in a Spanish class. Pages with the exercises on them were ripped out. These pages are essential because they are our homework assignments. As a result, the book you sent me is worthless. I am writing to request a full refund, including shipping charges. thank you.

I never received a response, so on December 23 I filed a complaint with Amazon. On January 1 I received a complete refund from Amazon.

On January 23 I got the following email from the seller:

MAIL ME THE BOOK BACK IMMEDIATELY AS STATED BY A2Z CONTRACT; BY JANUARY 28th.
YOU HAVE UNTIL JANUARY 28th TO HAVE THE BOOK REDELIVERED BEFORE I TAKE YOU TO SMALL CLAIMS COURT. YOU WILL RECEIVE AN OFFICIAL NOTICE OF BEING SERVED ON FEBRUARY 4th CERTIFIED AND SIGNATURE REQUIRED BY THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA. YOU'LL HAVE 30 DAYS BEFORE YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP FOR THE COURT APPEARANCE IN THE ORANGE COUNTY COURT HOUSE.

p.s. YOU'RE A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG :-)

I really hate the resurgence of "douchebag" as a term of derision. But I love the little smiley face he included. I'm not entirely sure how to take it, however. I responded with:

According to Amazon I am not required to return the defective item you sent me. http://www.amazon.com//gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=13832201#noreturn

But you didn't provide a return address so that I could return the item if I wanted to. What is your mailing address and phone number.

I sort of hope he decides to waste his time trying to sue someone who lives in New York in a California small claims court.

No Words Needed, Part 2

Words may not be needed, but they help.